…upon the stars

I can’t seem to stop myself from feeling disappointed. Perhaps it’s how much I wanted to score for Econs. Compared to the class, my grade of an O is still considered the average. However, the A levels is such that I am competing against the whole of Singapore. Therefore, there’s no point in comparing with the class. I need to compare with the whole level to get a better gauge of where I stand.

Despite telling myself not to give up after the horrendous Maths result, I can’t help but feel extremely upset about the big fat O. Econs followed by Maths are the 2 subjects that I put in most efforts. Considering that, what am I to expect for Geography?

It does not help that both Os did not surpass 40 marks. Hello, A levels is just in 39 days and yet I’m only getting low Os? Teachers always say that it is still possible, there is still time, but were they ever in my shoes? I need time to get over this setback.

39 days and counting down.

I’m so dead. Who cares about Prom when the A’s is nearer?

I wish…

我不害怕。我不寂寞

“我不喜欢寂寞，我怕寂寞”

我也不晓得我是几时感 到寂寞的， 可是这感觉却静静地抓住我。
寂寞找到了多一个陪伴。我。

Thanks Cherie, thanks Eugene. You people continue to make a difference, despite being in different classes.

Shall not give up

Why study? For studying produces the same result.

After some thought of this statement, I realise what is wrong with me.

If I were to have this mentality, I will never be able to progress from here.

If I were not to study anymore, it is impossible to produce better results.

However, if I were to study even harder, making sure that I know what I’m doing, I may be able to produce slightly better results.

It doesn’t matter that I could not meet my simple requirements of getting 3 A levels passes anymore for this prelims.

It doesn’t matter that my Maths did not produce the result I thought I deserve.

It doesn’t matter that I could not make much improvement.

The bottomline is, at least there’s improvement.

Perhaps it’s not so great, but it goes to show that some effort put in will directly result in better grades.

For that, I shall persevere till the final lap.

For the war, I fight.

End of “holidays” Back to studies

Played Dota more than I did Maths. Played through LAN with my bro and I lost 3, won 1. The sole victory was due to him not knowing how to use the hero. Kinda sad ya? Nevertheless, at least not I roughly know what items to use for what type of hero, and tested out some more heroes. I don’t foresee anymore DOTA for the next few weeks or so. Time to really turn up the heat in preparation for the final hurdle to determine if I could win the War.

This week of holidays had me completely forgot all about my inner most thoughts and let me enjoy meself to the fullest. But all good things come to an end and the A levels loom ahead.

May more good times commence after Nov 19th.

Till then, study like you’ve never studied before.

3rd day out

I’m so not into blogging today. ha.

played an ok game of monopoly.

played an ok game of dota.

Yup.

No bball. Boo!

Second Day out

Had nothing better to do. However, I don’t think this is nicer than the plain green header that is currently the header of Lesinc, and thus it shall not be replaced!

Played Dota from 11 till 3. Got owned pretty bad.

Played pool. Was quite okay bah.

Went shopping. 77th Street in Parkway was pretty good. Perhaps they read Straits Times reporters testing out the branded shops and therefore they are afraid that we may be put on a task by them, because their service was pretty good. Upon stepping into the shop, a young lady, probably not much older than I am, attended to hh and me. She looks pretty cute la. The good thing is, since we are buying some ladies accessories, we don’t quite know what to choose and stuff. Therefore, the with the lady’s help, things are much easier.

However, there are always 2 sides of a coin right? I think the people there are quite scheme-ing! Lol! They try to persuade you to buy more in a very not obvious manner.

While choosing a bracelet, lady A asked whether he wants to get a set of bracelet as well as a necklace. He said yes, and proceeded on to another display shelve. After confirming his choice, she brought out a pair of matching earring! Since it was still within budget, he bought it.

Clever hor? The next thing they should do is to ask you to be member right? Surprisingly, they didn’t. Haha! Oh yah, they recommended a box too!

Nevertheless, they were quite cheerful la and erm some cute stuff happened also la, and I shan’t elaborate. The final packaging is quite nice and the lady said “Wah, 她一定会很感动的！” Which I think is really the case la. Cause the present is really quite nice.

In conclusion, I still think that they belong more towards the Lians group. Just got that Aura la. The Lian Aura.

First day out

Haha! I knew it! I’m not cut out for badminton. I don’t even know how should you hold the racquet! I keep changing my way of holding along the game, but I think that should be the case ya? I’m afraid of the shuttle and therefore I tend to avoid heavy smacks from Jun Yi. Oh yah, Jun Kit, Jun Yi and Eric are my worthy opponents. Yes, I’m the weakest link, haha, but why bother!

After the game of badminton, monopoly! Ok, ammendments, it’s a tripoly! I must admit that today’s game was terrible for me! Much to the delight of hh ya? I have never lost so badly in monopoly k! In the end, there’s Katrina, bank robbery and stuff. -_-” Monopoly is a flawed game. When the other party really monopolises the country, there’s no way of winning the game anymore. It drives away all passion the hopeless have on the game. Therefore, there should be chance or community chest cards saying

“Natural disaster, hotels collapse”
“bank robbery, stole 50000″
“aquisition, ownership of property switched”

Won’t that make it a much more fun game? Haha! And it will not be the winner continues to win all, but instead, everyone got that glimpse of hope. Of course, if the winner draws those cards, that’s really too bad la. Just for example hh was winning so much and yet he got the 20k accumulated under the free parking space! Boo! Haha! Played so much till Jun Kit headache!

Anyway, the sorta highlight of today’s entry is the Taxi ride home I suppose.

If I have spare cash, I will take a taxi ride home daily! No, not because of the convenience, not because of the Air Con, not because of the speed. (like real)

However, it’s because Taxi drivers are so knowledgeable! Twice in a row, for the previous two Taxi journeys, I’ve marvel at the experience of the Taxi drivers!

This Taxi driver admitted he married late, at the age of 40, when his wife is 38, erm, not entirely sure.) However, initially he told us (Me and Jun Kit,) that he only have got 2 children.
However, after he alighted, he told me about the achievements of his 2 daughters and his son. If I’m not wrong, that’s 3 children! -_-” Nevermind. The achievements are remarkable.

Firstly, he speaks fluent English, therefore I assume he is not a typical chinese school student, instead, he graduated from an English school.

His elder daughter.
A London University graduate from physiotherapy. (Scholarship holder)

Second daughter
Ex HCJC student. Entered HCJC because they have a good softball team. Engages in CIP every Sundays. Top Secondary school, and because of that, boyfriend left her. Scholar in HCJC. Boyfriend in HCJC (also in softball) also left her.

Youngest son
Currently studying in Sp. Doing some form of mechanics. Hope to get into aeronautics. Government provided him the funds to pay for his youth flying course. Clinched an average of around 80-90 for all his 4 subs in the previous test. Currently having his year end test before moving on to year 2. After the first paper, commented that it was “easy la”

Wah! all scholars. I’m jealous! But the taxi driver is very friendly and stuff ba. And at the end of the journey, he did not bother to accept money from me! Like real! Ok, it cost 10.80. He only charged me 10. Partially because I paid him 20. Hey, I’ve got no coins ok! I did reject la, but he said it’s ok. So nice xia. Nice guy! Cheers!

Pride 冰上旱将！

“I was born to love you
Every single day of my life!”

And there, the 主打歌 of Pride 冰上旱将

“软弱的人才需要爱对吗？ 软弱的人才会感到寂寞， 坚强的认识不会感到寂寞，所以他们并不需要爱！”

Ahhh! Nice nice nice show! Halu. He’s an excellent leader (Even though it is only n the show). An excellent leader knows each and every of your members inside out. He don’t have to say to inspire. He leads by example and influences by actions. That’s fully satisfied by Halu. He commands a team of young lads who very much respect him. That’s how a great teamspirit forged.

I never had the body of an atheletic. I’ve never been part of a team sport. However, I know I’m more of a team player. I may be weak, but there’s this explosive self inside of me waiting to get involved in a real fight. A fight that I am willing to take in defence of my 队友.

Somehow, this may be the reason I want to get real in sports. I may not have the built that gives me an advantage in any sports but.. I sorta feel that I can accomplish anything on a sports field. I want to discover the rough side of me. Can I even be rough? Can han zhong withstand the violence of the sports field?

今天

今天就请你告诉你自己
我会继续加油
继续努力的

今天就开始向你的梦想而飞逝
走出那第一步
绝不后悔绝不回头

今天就放下所有心事
以另一个角度对待事情
向美好的未来奔逝

迈向目标而行驶
他出那能改变历史的第一步！

Identity crisis

**Update (9.16pm)
Finally decided to shelve this thought to after the A levels. Since I’ll most prob be enlisting in March or later. Hanzhong, focus on your A’s!

__________

I’ve decided to take time off from my piles of Human Geog notes and come online. I have no idea how much I’ve covered and whether it is sufficient for the last paper which is on Tuesday. Frankly speaking, I’m quite fearful of getting back Geog Paper 1 because I didn’t do too well for that paper. I sorta dreamt of the paper last night and my answer to some of the questions, in particular the essay question are flawed. Many have got no content and it really appears to me that I’m trying to smoke my way through.

Anyway, I’m beginning to realise some stuffs.

For example, to people in CCHS, while laming.

CCHS Initially
“Liew this guy, damn lame la. So irritating.”
After some time
“Haha! That’s funny *Think of how to lame back*”

*In council, there’s even lameford, qualifications, levels, lame quotes and stuff*

MJC Initially
“Haha, that’s a little funny but damn cold”
MJC after some time
“Liew, this guy trying too hard to be funny le! Can stop not? Oi! Don’t lame leh!”

(Applies to Council and NCC people, not to class and neither to those who are currently studying in MJC from CCHS)

And therefore, I realise my mistake. Which is not laming is wrong. But it applies to the different groups of people I’m interacting with. Sometimes, it’s better to just be more serious and less cranky. And what does this show yet again? MJC is not my type of school. This wrong decision continue to haunt me even after 1 year and 9 months. How did I even end up choosing this route? Shrugs in disbelieve.

Perhaps I really got to be more serious in the stuffs I do, the way I react to things. Perhaps this is what God has in place for me. The route that I should pursue is a matured one, that I have got to ACT my age and get real. Maybe.

I really should stop thinking about such stuffs at this crucial time. 2 more days before the examinations end.

Sunk into yet another state of depression. However, I do believe that han zhong will be able to overcome his struggle with his personality and come back a better person.

Cheers!